mankind thinks it’s so great but i bet if dolphins started a civilization they’d come up with a microwave with a goddamn mute button
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November is the worse month because you can't listen to scary music or watch horror movies and you're notallowed to shave OR nut
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roller coasters could kill us so easily if they wanted but they choose not to because by nature they’re gentle beasts and they love us. like horses
i know i’m biased because i’m 12 at heart and i think everything he does is funny but my little brother put together a last-minute “time traveler” costume for halloween which comprised solely of this homemade WW3 draft card and i think every single aspect of it is absolutely fucking hilarious
im going insane thinking about this newborn alpaca fucking look at it
Newborn Alpacas be like:
listening to music literally fucks so hard. you mean i can just put in headphones and experience incredibly profound emotions felt throughout my entire body